The Oncologist says I am very fit, much less than my physiological age and that it will stand me in good stead. On the scales, I am 58 kg, still trail weight. I am amazed that 10 months after the AT I am still carrying the residual physical fitness.
But I am losing the mental toughness that everybody else seems to think I possess. It's one thing to focus on a mountain 2000 miles away and walk to its summit - quite another to be a hospital 'case' - and not quite sure how or where the journey is going to end. It is adjusting the mental perspective - I am sick - I am going to have chemicals pumped into my body - they are going to make me sicker - I need to do this if I want to increase my chances of survival. But they will make me sicker before I get well. The chemical treatment is known as TAC - how about that - the same initials as the ATC. The chemicals are so dangerous that I need to be checked by a cardiologist before they can inject me to make sure my heart can cope.
In two days I have a Cat Scan to see if there are any other cancers in my body - this is the 'baseline'. In one week I see more doctors than I have seen in my whole life. They all ask me questions and fill out a questionnaire - do I drink alcohol? - 'only Marlborough Sauvignon Blanc' I reply.
How am I going to pass the time - sitting with a drip in my left arm for 4 hours - Sheena has the best solution: Get an I-Pad. This idea keeps me going all day - what things can I do with an I Pad?..... Technology has a solution to every problem, even mine.
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